Game 4: James Madison vs. Super Bowl IV

Yes, James Madison co-wrote the Federalist Papers. He was a Founding Father. You can't take that away from him. But in the big chair, as President, well, we've had better. Madison's trade policies were questionable. He was outplayed by Napoleon and by the British, who impressed American seamen, hijacked maritime cargoes, and, after a declaration of war in 1812, entered Washington and set fire to the White House and the Capitol. Way to go.

Super Bowl IV, played in January 1970, wasn't an all-time classic, but at least no national institutions were torched. The Minnesota Vikings, led by coach Bud Grant (at a time when "Lou Grant" was a popular Minneapolis-based TV character), were favored to win. But the scrappy K.C. Chiefs dominated from the start, winning 23-7. The Vikes didn't even score in the first half and had just 67 yards rushing. Chiefs WR Otis Taylor had a 46-yard TD catch, but the team's real star was the Chiefs' truly Ed Asner-like coach Hank Stram, who wore a microphone and rattled off hilarious sideline chatter like, "Just keep matriculating the ball down the field, boys."

Not a super-dee-duper Super Bowl, but this one scorches Madison for the victory.

SCORE AFTER THIS MATCH-UP: Presidents 3, Super Bowls 1.

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