Game 14: Franklin Pierce vs. Super Bowl XIV

Franklin Pierce entered office with his equilibrium a bit off and never really got his balance. He was brooding. Maybe he figured he could get by on looks. Historian James A. Rawley calls Pierce "perhaps the most handsome president....with opaque gray eyes." Who do you think should play Pierce in the movie? James Franco? Kate Blanchett? (Do you think Rawley was looking at a black-and-white photo?) Unfortunately, Pierce suffered from a fatal flaw that has hampered several of the nation's commanders-in-chief: he was bad at it. He caved in to pro-slavery interests as the nation hurtled toward civil war. He tried to acquire Cuba, a move that -- hand me that map for a second -- looks like didn't work. Pierce lost his bid for his party's renomination -- as a sitting president.

Super Bowl 14, meanwhile, turns out to be Steelers-Rams. The lead changes six times before Pittsburgh puts it away with two TDs in the final frame. Niiiice. Steelers QB Terry Bradshaw chucks a 73-yard TD pass to John Stallworth and a 47-yarder to Lynn Swann, setting new career Super Bowl records for most touchdown passes (9) and passing yards (932). Franco Harris, the Franco who really makes a difference here, runs for two TDs. Finally, someone's putting some super in the bowl. Put this in the record books as a win for the SB XIV.

SCORE AFTER THIS MATCH: Presidents 9, Super Bowls 5.


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